IT’S 1993. I’m in a dimly-lit superstore, looking up at the shelves of computer games for a Sega MegaDrive.
It was a key point in my life where I would learn the principles and benefits of capitalism.
The console was cutting edge gaming technology back then, and I vividly remember standing with my younger brother, each desperate to buy a new “cartridge”.
There was only one problem. The best games – such as the brand new helicopter adventure Jungle Strike – were too expensive.
Our pocket monies wouldn’t stretch that far, so we clubbed together and shared Jungle Strike. As I had more money than him, I negotiated a deal in which I would be entitled to more “go’s” than him per day.
It was wondrous – and spending less time playing a brilliant game was better than having an average one all to yourself, right?
And that was the last time I conjured up a joint-purchase scheme with someone I wasn’t in a relationship with.
Because the new M235i wowed so many people during our week together that we now basically have a consortium.
Among those wanting a share of the new 2-Series is the Cornish Guardian’s news editor Mike Jarvis, who already drives a M320d, and sports supremo Lee Hall, who doesn’t.
Both had been passengers in a trip to demonstrate the M235i’s power, power and also it’s incredible power.
There’s little else necessary to impress both these northern boys, who squealed at the thrill of being thrown back into the seat by the G-forces from going from nought to sixty in four seconds. It’s an addictive and intoxicating experience.
Pressing down on the accelerator does far more than cause fuel to be pumped into the turbo-charged 3-litre straight six engine. It brings down a virtual tinted visor, installs Armco barriers along the roadside and cranks up an accompanying symphony of F1 V8 whining and crowds cheering. In short, it turns you into a hateful lunatic.
One of those idiots that will deliberately slow down on a straight stretch of road so there’s some clear tarmac to the car in front, only to unleash all 326 horses at once for a handful of seconds.
Let’s make no bones about it. Bushes here shall not be beaten around. The M235i is superb. Performance is incredible.
The eight-speed automatic gearbox delivers each gear far quicker than humanly possible and the sound of it all is an exquisite pleasure for the canals of the ear.
The cabin is luxurious. It has quality materials, hi-tech and comfy, allowing you to enjoy every mini sprint.
It looks fantastic.
Vents, angles, lights ... the 235i is understated but thrilled a Scotsman who praised its “aggressive looks”.
But there’s so much more.
The iDrive system remains a near-perfect control method, the brakes match the engine’s power, it holds a corner using black magic, has flappy paddels if you want to control the gears, a reversing camera that’s far better than your smartphone and even has an Eco mode to get 34mpg.
It just feels wonderful to drive. Especially coinciding as it did with the start of the new F1 season.
So now I’m inundated by texts and enquiries from grown men demanding I send them pictures of the 235i.
They have been working out how much we’d each have to fork out to buy one between us. After all, spending some of the time driving a brilliant car would be better than having an average one all to yourself, right?
But the good news is the 235i isn’t as expensive as you might think.
For a car that gives you an almost supercar sensation – it’s only £34,000.
Imagine having one all to yourself...