1. Make a throw away comment on twitter that you'll dance Gangnam Style on YouTube if your followers increase by 1000 in a week feeling safe in the knowledge that it took you 2.5 years to get 4000.
2. Get proved wrong by the power of twitter and some meddling individuals and get an extra 1000 followers in 3 days.
3. Go to HQ and your senior bosses in the hope that they'll stop it only to find that they actually have a heart and think raising money for a good cause is a good idea.
4. 'Persuade' your team members to get involved. After all everyone should go down with the ship (being ex RAF I'm not 100% sure that's right).
5. Announce that you want the public to arrive at a time and place and join in not expecting the press and public to turn up and video the video being videoed then put it on the web immediately.
There, simples. And the main video isn't even out yet. Believe it or not I'm not that stupid normally ....... Honest!
Would I do it again? NO!
Will there be a torrent of abuse from certain quarters for us having demeaned ourselves like this? YES!
Are they right? NO!
Do I regret doing it? NO!
Think about this. We still police by consent in this country. We can't justify achieving compliance through force in most cases and rightly so. Compliance can be achieved through understanding. The person understands that they have no choice but often this involved heated discussion and can lead to force being used. Compliance is better achieve through respect and understanding of the job we have to do and this is often achieved by demonstrating that we, the police, are human. We have feelings, we care about things, we have families and the greatest weapon of all we have a sense of humour!
I have used and observed the use of a keen sense of humour a number of times to defuse a situation. I have dealt with many suspects, professionally and compassionately because we have found common ground and had a 'bit of a joke'. This means that the whole process is easier for both police and prisoner. Innocent until proven guilty and all that.
By showing the human side of police officers we can gain the trust and respect of the majority of the public. Yes there will always be those that will moan but they are definitely in the minority.
The above reason for my team, myself and friends and colleagues humiliating ourselves is actually a byproduct of our main aim.
I personally feel I am a fortunate person. I live in a wonderful place, have a fantastic wife and healthy bunch of gorgeous children and a job that I love.
Both working full time 999 jobs complete with the unsocial shift patterns that come with it and looking after a family can be hard work. I can't even begin to imagine what it would be like to care for a child with complex needs or even to be that child growing up in an environment where the basic of functions we take for granted is an impossible task.
Well that is where Dawn and the ever smiling Josh come into the story. Dawn is trying to do what every parent should do. Do the best for your child.
For those of you who don't know of Joshua, he was diagnosed with his first brain tumour in 2004 age 3 and following complex surgery due to the location of the tumour on the brain stem, was left with complex physical disabilities & needs.
Joshua now 12, has severe neuromuscular disabilities that require a fully adapted home - his family needs to raise £25,000 to cover a ceiling track hoist, a special medical bath, building work & other basic equipment
Joshuas parents share his care & due to DLA funding restrictions Joshua isn't entitled to 2 fully adapted homes, so they need to privately raise funds for all his needs.
They are £17000 in to the £25000 journey to fully equip Josh's home to make his life better.
And that is where we can help. You search YouTube and you will find everyone around the world copying Psys' Gangnam Style video. The video is bizarre and the tune can be annoying. (In fact I would be happier to never hear it again!) the numerous remakes appear and disappear on the Internet with very little fuss. I don't have £8000 to give Josh and Dawn but I do have it in my power to do something unique to draw attention to their quest. That is how we ended up at the video. It may be the first and only time you will see British Police Officers doing this anywhere. That will get attention, good or bad, which can only be good for Dawn and Josh.
My colleagues and I have sacrificed our dignity and pride (trust me, I never dance!!) and ask that you sacrifice and pound, dollar, euro or two. Whatever you can afford to help Josh reach his target and make his life better.
You can donate through www.superjosh.co.uk
You can get to know Josh on twitter @journeyjoshuas
All I say is have a think, perhaps find your Josh and do something daft for the benefit of someone else.
To the moaners and negative press I say, get a grip. This was filmed in our own time at no public expense. Do something good yourself instead if moaning.
Here it is!!! -